Social Primer is a great site.
There’s a reason why I keep Social Primer in my sidebar. This is it.
For the record, in America, there are only five dress codes that should ever be printed on an invitation. Formal, Semi-formal, Informal, Casual and Costume.
…
Semi-Formal (or Black Tie) – Semi-Formal means Black tie. Whether we call it a dinner suit or Tuxedo, it’s all the same. And this mean full on black tie right down to the cummerbund and shiny shoes. And a black bow tie! Always. No long tie, black or whatever. Ever.
Preach on, brother.
Tom Accuosti
on September 18th, 2009
So, I should not wear my Texas string tie with my polo shirt?
Jeff Naylor
on September 18th, 2009
Right off the top of my head I can’t come up with an appropriate time TO wear one of those.
Of course, I don’t live in Texas, and I’m sure they’d have a different opinion of the matter.
mp
on December 8th, 2009
Br.Jeff, having this discussion with my girlfriend, and I was talking about the sometimes used phrase “Black tie optional” …
What about women in such a situation?
I have seen varying suggestions, mostly going with – match your date.
What if a lady is going staggette?
I have also seen cocktail dress, evening dress, as well as evening gown, or even “dressy evening separates”.
I think one of the issues is that women’s fashion depends so much on, well, fashion.
She has even gone so far as to get a gown-like dress to wear when I am in black-tie (not optional) in my mess-dress uniform … she shudders to think what she would have to do should I go whole-hog and buy “evening mess” which is white tie and waistcoat (or vest, as the regulations say)
Jeff Naylor
on December 10th, 2009
I agree with SP, there’s no such thing as “Black Tie Optional,” it just means that they want you to wear a dinner suit and they’re just afraid to say so.
My feeling about the matter is that I don’t pay attention to the “optional,” and wear black tie, which then means to be that my lady should probably be in a cocktail dress. The problem of course is that term means different things to different people. I don’t think you can ever go wrong with the Little Black Dress on those occasions.
Generally women have a better sense about these things than we do anyway.
mp
on December 11th, 2009
I think it means they’re afraid to make people think they’re being snooty, by assuming every man invited will either have a dinner suit, or will buy one/rent one for this occasion.
It’s one reason I liked being an officer in a Mass. Lodge – I had an excuse to buy a dinner suit, and wear it at least once a month – now I have one if I need it, and I don’t feel like wearing my Blues OR Mess Dress.
It raises a question in my mind however – I know cutaways/morning coats are the appropriate formal wear for day time, but what is the appropriate SEMI formal wear?
mp
on December 11th, 2009
Br. Jeff, I have answered my own question – it is the stroller jacket, which is essentially the same cut as a dinner jacket, but in dark grey or charcoal, without satin lapels, and worn with necktie, and waiscoat, white shirt w/lay down collar, and .lighter grey striped or checked trouser, like would be worn with a morning coat.
My girlfriend has just informed me I am never allowed to wear it, as she cannot imagine being invited to a daytime semi-formal event that really means that.
Alas.
Jeff Naylor
on December 13th, 2009
You are correct, sir. The stroller is the semi-formal version of the morning coat, essentially identical with the exception of the absence of the tails. I have a stroller that I wear on occasion. Last time I wore it was to Red Cross of Constantine, most of the fellows wear dinner jackets, but since the meeting was at 4PM I wore the stroller instead. 4PM is that gray area…